The Drama Farmers

It's been a year since the last time I took the time to sit and write a blog post. So many reasons for that. First of all, the last update informed you we were done here. We couldn't recover from the fire and a plethora of other dramas that were unraveling around us. At the time of writing that, there were asteroid-sized challenges flying at us from every direction, they took our legs out from beneath us and left us lying winded on the metaphorical cold, hard ground. While closing felt like our only feasible option at the time, the decision broke us. We continued to fight our own battles, sometimes completely exposed in the eye of the media, as well as some very private struggles with mental health. But we could not reconcile closing the farm.

A year later and hardly any of those issues have been completely resolved, but we are stronger. We spent most of 2018 taking back control of our situation. So, while we still await some resolution and closure of the ongoing issues, we are at least back in control of our financial and emotional well-being in the meantime. Despite, or should I say IN SPITE of the trauma and the failures of others, we are stronger, more stable and able to say the farm will re-open this year.

I know what you're thinking.....we're on, we're off, we're back, we're done....you never know what drama is coming next from this 5 acre corner of Langley that most people love to visit, but has been the stage of much misery for us. What can I say? Thank you springs to mind. Thank you for sticking with us. Thank you for coming back when we tentatively reopened the farm store at the end of last year. Thank you for buying our entire annual stock of beef within 20 minutes of it arriving back at the farm. Thank you for signing petitions, leaving online reviews, referring your friends to us, but most of all, encouraging us. It is the people that surround us and the farm, that circled the wagons, and that keep us going.

We have moved into our new hemp house now and many of you have visited or seen the house now. It's a beautiful space to live in and having a stable base for the first time in the two years since the fire has definitely contributed to stabilizing us. We've been able to make space in our own minds to think about re-opening the farm and what that model should look like. We have to be mindful of the problems we have had with our farming model in the past. We've analyzed the key messages and think we have found a balance, both for ourselves and to improve our regenerative farming approach.

So here's the plan. Baby steps! 2019 will see us both working away from the farm to help with some financial stability and easing back into our farming story. We will drop all the restaurant supply, CSA programs and farmers markets that we were doing before. The farm will be open on Saturdays from May through to October and employ just Ian and I. There will be kids camps, farm tours, meat and (limited) produce sales, workshops and events, as well as a new botanical garden and tannery with help from Mara of Crow's Nest Wildcraft. We have also been taking some bookings for private functions. Basically, we are eliminating anything that takes us away from the farm and focusing on the farm becoming the destination again.

We feel excited. It's the first time in a long time we find ourselves looking forward to something farm related. Let's keep our fingers crossed and hope for at least one drama-free season!

We'll see you in May.

LAST CALL AT THE BARn

Fire, flood, drought, disease, debt and disaster. Sounds like the first line of a poem but is, in fact, a synopsis of my farming career. And it is time to call it a day.

Most of you will already know that we have had a disproportionate amount of things happen to us since we moved here in 2013. While it's normal to have challenges, we have had to fight for the survival of the farm following a major incident around 3-5 times a year. That's an exhausting way to live. It chips away at your resilience. It's time.

We haven't really been able to recover from the 2016 fire. Financially, we are still struggling to find a resolution with the big corporation whose device started the fire and have recently taken on HUGE personal debt (again) to keep going. The personal cost to us for uninsured loss has been catastrophic and there has also been an almost daily battle just to get the things we were entitled too. Emotionally, we are still struggling - mainly with the personal resource required that continually fighting and repeatedly having to relive the fire every time we call or email the people who should be making this right! I would like to live this year in a way that doesn't require medication to keep me going. And schedule...we are still rebuilding when we should be farming. It's time.

On top of that there have been additional and significant changes occur, all of which came together and totally disrupted our existing business plans. These events left us looking at a million different scenarios focused on both keeping the business going and folding it. Eventually we realized that all of the options were crappy! Getting out is now just as hard as keeping going as we have invested so much in new websites, business cards, t-shirts, equipment, seed, etc. We have sold CSA shares, event tickets, etc that will all need to be refunded. But going on is next to impossible too regardless of the plethora of ideas for change we have run. We find ourselves caught between a rock and a hard place. It's time.

When you realize there is no preferably way to proceed, that there is no sensible plan or easier path, it becomes quite liberating. It's at this point you can let go of thinking about the business and just focus on what is right for your family. I am not strong enough to do what needs to be done to rewrite the business model and find people to get on board with us at this point in the season. Ian is drained with the battle too. He is the strongest, most resilient and reliable man on the planet, he's my absolute rock, so to see him bruised, battered and battle weary hurts my heart. Our kids don't really care! Not because they are heartless human beings but because they have become emotionally self-sufficient  due to us being so removed by the trauma, toil and tragedy of the farm. That's not ok. It would be one thing to continue if I believed that things would get better, but I don't. I cannot knowingly continue to fail them at this crossroads in pursuit of farming. It's time.

I am not special or more entitled than any one of you reading this. I can only expect the same from life that everyone else gets. I am not a religious person, or particularly spiritual. My life is fairly black and white usually. But I do now believe that for whatever reason, this was not meant to be. This is a sudden decision in as much as we were talking to chefs and customers about the season just 48 hours ago. However, we knew this year was our 'do or die' year. The year we had to turn things around and here we are at the end of January with every last option snatched from our reach. And it's frustrating because it should have worked! Our business plan and financial forecast showed a strong year, but fate it beyond our control. It's time.

There are lessons to be spoken and commentary to be made. There are 'thank yous' to be said. But not now, we just have to reel for a little bit before we can collect our thoughts and strength and let all our farm supporters how much we have appreciated them. It's time.

The Summer of Evolution

In my last post, I lamented about the unsustainable lifestyle of a small farmer. In all fairness, I do this every year at the mid-season point. This year though is the first time we have the luxury of not only being able to do something about it but actually having the opportunity to reflect, talk and plan. Almost everything we have done so far has been reactive instead of proactive so this is certainly a change for us. Ian and I just had a three day road trip (for work purposes of course, not a vacation or anything crazy like that). We were effectively shut up in a small space together with the agreement that we would not finish the journey without a plan for next year.

We began the discussion from a common ground, that we were not going to operate next year as we have been doing. However, I soon realized that didn't really mean the same thing to Ian as it did to me. Ian still had the same vision of farming but somehow being more efficient, whereas I was envisioning a smaller scale farming operation and a more streamlined business model.

Our differences were the only thing to be established on the first leg of our journey. Fortunately for us, the first leg of the journey was a mere hours drive to Kw'o:kw'e:hala Eco Retreat in Hope, a place so shrouded in tranquility, it was impossible to continue our disagreement and all thoughts of pushing Ian out of the moving truck subsided.

We left there with a desire to recreate this blissful oasis. We were certain that we could do it. We could continue to run a working farm that fed the guests of the eco-retreat that we would establish. After all, Ian is building tiny homes on site at the moment so there's the solution to guest accommodation. As the plans evolved, they got ever more elaborate & more expensive to implement. Regardless, we blindly talked about funding, building, barn conversions and outdoor showers all the way to Golden, BC.

Day three of the road trip, on our way back to the farm with the 12 piglets we had gone to collect, and focus returned. I had another "what the hell are we thinking" moment. Why are we even talking about finding funding, new building projects, etc.? That's not making things easier, it's just another way to work ourselves to death and accrue debt! The process of stripping it back had to start again, holding on to the objective that we wanted to do less...employ less people, work less hours, less input, less change, all while holding onto the things we enjoy. We loved the idea of the eco-retreat but in reality, that's not achievable for next year. It can remain the long term vision, but we need to take smaller steps to get there.

And so our plan for 2017 was finally agreed. We are going to scale back the vegetable farming - that's the thing that requires the most amount of output for the least amount of return. We will continue to grow but on a scale that we can manage for the number of people doing the work and only to supply our primary focus which will be events. We will continue with the animal agriculture as our meat sales are good. Generally our meat sales subsidize the vegetable farming and we use the animals to help us maintain well fertilized land for the veggie production. But we will decrease the CSA program and we won't go to farmers markets or run the Saturday market at the farm next year.

Long table dinner

Under the new rules from the Agricultural Land Commission, we are permitted to hold events on the farm, with certain restrictions. We intend to take full advantage of that and will schedule regular agri-tourism and learning events including long table dinners and workshops. We are set-up for events, there's not really much work to do to make them a regular feature and showcase local talent and businesses on the farm. We will organize educational programs for children and adults around food and farming. And why not, we're good at that element, we enjoy it and the farm is the perfect venue. We also have the perfect opportunity to cement this new idea when we host Feast of Fields in a couple of weeks.

School tours and kids camps

Fermented Foods Workshop and dinner

Ian and I have finally found a common ground. He certainly feels some grief for the elements we are loosing and continues to harbour unrealistic expectations of what we can do, but Ian is an over-achiever, that's his personality and the thing that pushes us to be successful. We both recognize that we are giving too much and sacrificing our personal and family time. We have a shared confidence that we can make it work with an organized plan for events. Farming here has to sustain us at the level we want to work or not at all. And I am happy with the decision. I believe we can make it work and we will enjoy it more. There are many people farming but not many people promoting agriculture and local food in the way in which we will embrace it. It will give us a platform to advocate for the things we believe in. And heck, we might have a bit of fun (and even the occasional day off) along the way!

The bar!

After dinner warmth in the gazebo

Ian the soux chef...apparently

Laura and I co-hosting a fundraiser with our neighbours

Chef Sean Bone preparing a Cinco De Mayo dinner

A Laurica farm advocacy group downtown

As night falls, the fun factor goes up

Bands in the barn

Writing the Next Chapter

We're currently mid way through our third growing season. Even saying those words surprises me because it's starting to feel like we have been doing this a lot longer. Every day I learn something new, but the initial "I have no idea what I'm doing" concerns are starting to subside a little and it's hard to remember a life before farming.

This season has been pretty good to us. Business has been much better than the last two years. Something has changed with people's attitudes towards the farm too. We spent the first two years pounding the pavements and hustling for business to build a decent following. From the very beginning of this year, it felt like we were finally cashing in on that investment. People are coming to us and we have not had to work so hard at selling product, getting people to the farm, involving chefs in our dinners, etc. In fact, Chefs are asking me if they can do events here and that's a good feeling. The farm is also co-hosting Feast of Fields this year. What an amazing opportunity to host the regions top chefs, producers and about 1200 foodies! We've had a fantastic article in the Vancouver Sun about our business practices and we are once again nominated for TWO Greater Langley Chamber of Commerce business awards. It was fab to win the award for environmental leadership last year and so to be up for Business of the Year and Entrepreneur of the Year blows my mind.

The summer has seen a huge increase in loyal customers coming to the farm for the Saturday market, arriving early at White Rock Farmers Market on Sunday to ensure they get their bag of salad and we've doubled our CSA clients - I'm actually turning people away who want to join the scheme half way through. We are at full capacity and the crops that we thought would last us into the winter are almost done and we are frantically sowing more. Crazy crazy times!

We have Laura here full time on the farm this year and we really couldn't manage without her. I feel quite indebted to her and the way she goes above and beyond the call of duty. Ian has now left his well paying job with benefits at PCL Construction to work for nothing on the farm! While that is terrifying in many respects, it's a huge relief to see the difference in Ian both mentally and physically. He is doing some time on the farm, a couple of days a week with a friend in construction and a few days building tiny homes on the farm as a new joint business venture with Laura's brother, Shane. Shane is also helping out on the farm and we have had some German home stay students who are working four days a week throughout the summer in exchange for board and food. While we could really do with more staff, we are managing and feel more on top of things this year than previous years.

All in all, apart from a torn foot ligament, things are going well for us. But that doesn't change the chronic mid-season blues and we've got a particularly nasty case of them this season. There was one day in particular when I was feeling crappy and I looked up and saw the rest of the team looking exhausted, limping from various ailments and sweating in the hot sun and I thought to myself "this is ridiculous". We can't ever compensate these people (or ourselves) for the effort, commitment and hours they put into this farm. Doing it for the love and lifestyle of farming can only be stretched so far and we went over that line a while a go. Both Ian and I were hit with a serious case of "that's it, we're out of here at the end of the summer". There were tears. There were conversations. Eyes were rolled. Hands were flung in the air with exasperation. Feet were stamped. And the feeling continues to ebb and flow. In truth, these are not just mid-season concerns, these are the fears I've harboured for about a year now.

There is a constant discourse in the farming community about whether or not small farming is sustainable, and the rhetoric centers around financial concerns; will consumers pay what is actually costs to produce food? I believe that there is no clear cut answer to that, it is totally dependent on the model you use. There are, for example, small market gardeners turning over $250,000 annually on less than 2 acres using SPIN farming methods. There are also people leasing land for $1 a year and still not able to make it work. We're somewhere in the middle of that. We purchased our land, sunk a lot of time and money into building and then unexpectedly had to pay $60,000+ on water and well drilling. We'll never recoup that investment and we're not paying ourselves per se, but that doesn't mean that farm is not sustainable or won't be in the future. It is bringing in some money this year. While I haven't drawn a salary so far, I haven't paid for food in three year and we've almost doubled the equity in our property in three years. That's a pretty decent return. But I still struggle to believe that we can really bring in the true cost of food. I feel there's definitely a fine balance between farm location, farm size and output that needs to be established for any new farmer seeking a sustainable farm business model.

Laura and Carina and a few of BC's politicians hanging out at White Rock Farmers Market

So what does all that mean to us at Laurica Farm? Is our farming model sustainable for the people doing it? Could we go on doing exactly what we are doing and spreading ourselves this thin? Yes, of course we could. We have stared in the face of bigger challenges after all. But should we? The answer to that is easy: no, it makes no sense from a business or personal standpoint. And to be honest, it's not the farming that's the primary cause of us feeling burnt out as much as the bureaucracies of running a farm business. The ridiculous processes and restrictions are the things that make small farming in this area unsustainable, not the farming itself. There seems to be constant road barriers put in place for small farmers and it's that I can no longer be bothered with. I'm battle weary and I'm taking risks. It's like self harm, I wonder if I'm looking to get intro trouble as an excuse to walk away.

This week we are meeting with a business consultant to help us tease out the answers. We need to undertake some sort of feasibility study about our farming activities. Currently we are doing two markets, restaurant supply, CSA boxes and delivery service, events almost every week, tours, open days, cooperatives with other farmers and kids farm camps - all with just two full time staff. Next year we will have to streamline or rethink the business model in some way. This is not a defeatist statement, I feel incredibly lucky that in three years of operation, we are in a position where we can stop, reflect and revise. It's because we've worked so damn hard that we are able to be more selective in our planning.

It's not all hard work...the farm camps provide some child labour

In truth, we have no idea what that looks like yet. We've toyed with several ideas and studied other people's models but we're too entrenched in it all to be objective, which is why we need a new pair of eyes looking at this challenge. So you had better stay tuned, because we survived the hard times and now we're evolving again!

Spreading The Love

I'm done with feeling mopey. Turns out that when I wrote my last depressing post, I had a notifiable stomach bacteria which, I'm going to suggest, was impacting my mood. Not that it wasn't a true reflection of how we are feeling, but maybe those feelings were heightened. Anyway, a course of punishing antibiotics has helped kick my brain into gear for the forthcoming season. Business as usual. No, actually, business better than ever.

The last two years have been about hard work, resilience, sacrifice and grit. But this year is about creativity. 2016 is about more options for customers, more learning opportunities, and a greater reach without working ourselves into the ground. I made a rough calculation of the hours we worked on the farm & at our 'real' jobs during 2015. Ian and I collectively worked the equivalent of 5.5 full time positions. That is not sustainable, yet growth of the business remains an essential component. The commitment to hard work will continue but we will nurture new relationships to make it manageable. Take, for example, the sheep we have here now. These are not our sheep, this is someone else's project (headache/labour of love), it is being run in it's own entity but under the umbrella of Laurica Farm. We are looking for more entrepreneurs who want to run their own business that compliments the farms values here and for the benefit for the land and our customers.

We're working collaboratively with other farmers. Our beef was raised by a neighbouring farmer who has the same ideals about how livestock should be treated. We were able to pay that farmer a fair price for his product, cover our own costs for marketing and storing, etc. and offer our customers a reasonable price on top quality grass-fed beef. We are also linking with Glorious Organics Farm to offer Farm Camps and a couple of events. This helps us pool our resources and avoid duplication of effort.

Our tree house has been offered to two Yoga teachers to use as a studio, with a view of running joint ventures in the future. We've also traded pork to Todd who is coming to teach workshops in there. We'll continue to utilize the tree house as a resource for the farm. Another little project is creating a whimsical fairy garden in the tree grove, apparently people will volunteer to do things like that!

We don't have to do everything ourselves anymore, we are established enough to forge new links and mutually beneficial relationships. Now it's time to let others have the opportunity to flourish so our family can working on our existing relationships with each other.