The Frugal Christmas

And relax.... Christmas has come and gone. As much as I love the season, it brings a lot of work. This year has been a very different experience for us due to budget cuts (hey, that excuse works for Governments all over the world, so it can fly in this household for a while). You all know that we've been under financial pressure. We entered into this farming venture knowing that things would be tight for a while and we planned and budgeted as best we could to accommodate that. We did not foresee the myriad of equipment breakdowns that have surprised us this year. But as with any other challenge, you have to adapt, and this Christmas was no exception.

Back in October, I suggested to the kids that we could have a 'regular' Christmas with presents and all the trimmings, or we could cut back on all the frills and choose to go away somewhere as a family. They both choose the vacation option. I was both proud and guilty. Proud that they opted to forego gifts but saddened that they both made comments about not spending much time together as a family this year. They're right of course, it's been a whirlwind that has taken it's toll not just on our finances but on our resolve, our bodies, our health and apparently, our relationships.

With these great intentions laid out, we then found ourselves hurtling towards Christmas, facing more financial drains, and really not being able to afford any of it - the presents, the vacation, even the turkey felt like a struggle.  Now, as a family, we are not religious and we are finding ourselves increasingly exasperated by mass consumerism, and so add austerity measures into that and there doesn't seem like there's a whole lot left. But there is! It occurred to me that this Christmas was about refocusing on the family, a bit of repair was called for and so we had to get a little creative in order to maintain the fun and magic of it all.

Our Charlie Brown Christmas Tree - $15!

Our solution to present buying was quite simply a Secret Santa scheme. Instead of framing it as 'frugal' we framed it as 'fun'. Each family member wrote a wish list on an envelope and I inserted a $100, which seemed like a lot to the kids. We then picked one envelope out of a hat. Total $400 on presents for the family, a lot less than we've spent in the past. The kids had a blast taking responsibility for shopping and maintaining the pretense of keeping the name of the person they were buying for secret (they managed it for about 2 minutes and 36 seconds).

Another way we made cuts was by asking the family to be environmentally conscientious. Of course, this fits with the way we are living now so the kids did not find it a challenge or upsetting to go without things like wrapping paper. It made them inventive. They found ways to wrap presents and make them look pretty without buying wrapping paper and gift bags. It also meant that they could spend their $100 budget solely on presents and not any of the unnecessary extras. The whole thing turned into a 'teaching moment' for the kids really. A chance to be thoughtful and creative.

We didn't make cuts on the turkey. I just could not compromise now I know what I know about the food industry. Urban Digs Farm ran a scheme where they sourced produce from local farms and worked with ReUpBBQ in New West to create a meal box. The turkey was huge so we had Christmas dinner from it and boxing day sandwiches. There's four meals worth of turkey frozen and bone broth simmering away on the stove right now. All of a sudden, it doesn't feel so expensive. There was lots of root vegetables in the pack which we didn't really need but there is a lot left. We'll also save the seeds from the squash to grow next year.

Then came the vacation. We really couldn't afford the vacation but we couldn't afford not to go either, the kids had their hearts set on it. We had initially planned to go to the States to make it cheap. However, our permanent residence cards have expired so we couldn't cross the border. I needed to find an alternative and fast. I found a hotel in Victoria that was quite cheap. Thinking Victoria would be a good option, I started looking around. We haven't really been to Victoria, the capital of BC, and taking another form of transport, in this case going on the ferry, always makes it feel like a 'proper' vacation, that you've gone far away.

Searching hotels brought up a few feasible options. I picked one that wasn't the cheapest but appeared to offer the best value. It was a nice resort with lots of amenities and you got the third night free and resort credit. There was a fridge and microwave in the room so I planned to take food to reduce costs. In the three nights away, I budgeted for eating out twice, once using the hotel credit.  Of course, none of this went to plan. Although we remained frugal, there were unforeseen costs. I had miscalculated the ferry cost, stupidly thinking that it was $125 return when in fact it was $125 each way. There was a resort fee at the hotel that we didn't know about upon booking, that made me cross actually. It added another $20 a night onto the cost which effectively cancelled out the resort credit. Also, the weather wasn't great which limited the amount of free, outdoor activities we could do and we did end up paying for a few more activities than we anticipated.

All this compromise is the reality of the life we have chosen, at least for the foreseeable future. It's also taught us about re-evaluating what's important. The kids had a fabulous time on the vacation. Seeing the twinkling Christmas lights in Buchart Gardens reflecting in their excited eyes made me think about the memories that were being ingrained. Ian and I realised that they wouldn't remember what gifts they got in ten years but they would remember the things we did; ice skating on the harbour, outdoor swimming in December, & exploring Japanese gardens.

It's been hard for me. The nagging worry about money has been a constant. But it's only been hard for me. The kids know money is tight but they haven't known any sacrifices. They've loved their Christmas and want to do Secret Santa every year. The memories we've created have been more rewarding than any previous Christmas experience.

We do need to make changes though. I can't carry this worry again all through 2015. We know we have money coming in at the end of February and after that it's not long until the growing season gets going again, but I'm genuinely concerned about the next two months. We are constantly working to make changes, there's really no more cuts that can be made in our lifestyle right now and so we continue to 'speculate to accumulate'. We're in the midst of a huge reclaimed greenhouse deal at the moment that is an incredible amount of work and quite a big gamble, but will enable us to grow all year round in the future if it all works out.

IF we can make it two more months, we might scrap by and finally start to turn the financial situation around and then we can all breath a long, collective sigh of relief. Just two more months to keep your fingers crossed for us.

Rolling with the punches

My last couple of posts have been somewhat political and a little bit 'ranty' so I thought I would revert back to a farm focused update. The problem with that is whenever I'm talking about the farm at the moment, I'm using my whiny voice. It's not like me to abandon my eternal optimism but I've been wavering of late. Do you ever feel like you can't catch a break? Well that's where I'm at right now. Everyday brings a new challenge at the moment. I won't give you all the details, it'd take too long, but ever since we moved here, things have been breaking down and giving up. Dishwashers, washing machines, tumble dryers, ovens, hot water tanks; if it's electrical, it's given up and died. If it's breakable, it's broken...windows, roof tiles, pipe work, poly, etc. And, as for our main source of water, it's not only broken down but now it's filter is knackered. Yes, the well requires another $4000 worth of investment. Don't get me wrong, these things are minor in comparison. I wrote earlier this year about friends of the farm who had lost family members. No amount of challenges compares to loosing a parent and every time a tire blows our or we have to pull a replacement window out of a skip, I think of our friends' pain and swallow a big dose of perspective. But still, a rest from the onslaught would be nice.

What I need to do is refocus on the positives so I'm going to use this space to update you on all the farm projects that have evolved since the beginning and let you in on some of the stuff planned for 2015.

Chickingham Palace. Oh what a triumph. Originally built for 3 chickens, extended with a view to house 20, it's now too small for our ever growing flock of 60 chickens. A new coop is underway and the palace will become the chick nursery. The new coop is of course built from reclaimed materials because we are still broke. However, we have over a year of lessons in chicken care to enable better planning and design. The new digs will allow a larger laying flock as well as some meat birds. 

The original Chickingham Palace being extended

The new coop under construction

The Duck Pond. The hole with an island that we dug out last Christmas with a borrowed excavator was bone dry all summer. The rains are back now and our pond is full much to the relief of our ducks and the wild ducks that are squatting there. They have a lovely duck house built from a raised truck cap which they totally ignore and flatly refuse to use. However, there are more ducks coming and hopefully some breeding will happen in the spring. Ian has plans to dig it deeper and create an oasis of mini ponds, waterfalls and rain water harvesting but we'll see.... 

Breaking ground on the duck pond last Christmas

The ducks enjoying the return of the water

The ignored duck house

The Poly Tunnel. Remember how smug we were about the poly tunnel we built for $100? Yeah, it's not big enough either. It's big but we grew so much in there last year that we need more space. So the foundations for the extension are done, the beds are built, materials for a rocket mass heater are being salvaged, including 500 refractory bricks from a heritage house during a huge storm last weekend.

Building the foundations for the poly tunnel

 

The finished product

The Tree House. Don't be misled by the title. This is not the tree house any of us imagined; except for Ian of course. It's not a child's play place but will be a fully equipped rental property. The boasting point of this project is that it's built completely from others peoples junk. As of now, the structure is up, glazing is in, stairs and handrail are built and it's covered in tyvek and we haven't spent a cent on it. We've managed to barter a deal for roofing which involves pork and eggs. We've just paid $200 for reclaimed cedar cladding for the outside walls. We have about 70% of the furnishing we need & just have to work on a composting toilet for it. Hopefully it'll be finished by April....maybe.

Tree House under construction

The pig pen is finished except for roof tiles. The half that the pigs don't use has had many different purposes from chick hatchery to rabbit hutch. Currently it's at full capacity with our four big pigs in the main half, the baby piglets in a quarter and four rabbits in the remaining quarter. The rabbits were outside until the whether turned so we set them up in there with tubes to run through. Fun fun fun for them. The excitement with the pig project is that we now have a potential Mommy and Daddy pig for the farm and will be able to breed our own line of heritage pigs. Just need to finish fencing the front field. Posts are up but not concreted in yet. The darn pigs keep using the posts for scratching themselves and knocking them over. Pests!

The latest piglets

Rabbit Town

The Fruit Cage has been built, collapsed, and built again. The structure is reclaimed wood and the netting was the safety netting originally used for the construction of the new roof on BC Place Stadium. Despite the trials and tribulations of that project, it has been a real asset. The cage acts as a physical control that aids us with organic farming methods. The produce was abundant in there this summer and it has provided a safe haven for the chickens.

The collapse of the fruit cafe, February 2014

 

Produce in the fruit cage this summer

The old barn had a face lift and has been used for everything from parties to veggie sorting to feed storage. Currently it's a mess & stuffed full of building materials but there is a concrete pad on the north side where we're planning another extension that will be used as storage and give us back our party barn. We thought we'd created adequate space when we lovingly added the workshop to the barn but as usual, it wasn't enough.

The barn all dressed up for Jessica's birthday party

The Gazebo & fire pit have been my favourite part if the farm. It's the social gathering place and the 'relax in the shade' place. Another sustainable building success with the reclaimed wood frame, pallet benches and gravel base that was on it's way to landfill before we intervened.

The herb spiral was created from a cottonwood tree that we cut down. A great growing area. There is also a new salad bed in a shady area of the farm so salad can thrive outdoors during the hot summers.

Pipe & Electrical Work. I know that sounds dull but there were no outbuildings here and therefore no power anywhere. There was one cable hanging between the house and the barn. We dug trenches all over the property and sunk cables around the property to get power to the above listed project. That was some task in the middle of last winter! No wonder the washing machine gave up.

Rescued Food project. We've secured several sources of food waste that are suitable for animal feed. This both excites and dismays me. I'm delighted that we have a food source for our animals but dismayed at the amount of food waste that exists. The work involved is quite significant too. We haul 2 tonnes of spent grain from a brewery a week in Ian's 13 year old, battered, Ford F150 truck. We are waiting for the truck to go on strike any day now...or it'll just snap in two.

Not bad for 16 months work, and don't forget we actually ran the farm too, and that grew at a rate than none of us had anticipated. We will go into next year with a loyal (I hope) client base of over 20 families.

Some days I feel like I've had enough. Some days I'm so wet or cold or tired or fed up that I think I must have lost my mind embarking on this lifestyle. Everyday, I look at my bank balance and wince a little. The well breaking down in the summer almost broke us financially. We would never have been able to replace it without the support and donations from all of you, but there was still a lot of personal money that went into and as we approach Christmas with a very small budget, I realize that we'll be feeling the backlash for a while longer.

I occasionally find myself questioning, if there's a point where you let go and walk away? If there is, we're not there in spite of the almost daily assault on our resolve. We're just too excited about 2015. I can't wait to see the tree house finished, that will allow us to open our farm to visitors. We are chomping at the bit to get started on the rocket mass heaters. How exciting to be able to build a sustainable heating system and people are contacting me wanting to know more and hoping be involved with the build. I'm already itching to get my hands in the soil and start planting again in January. Unlike this time last year, we actually have a plan that will provide us with some structure and staff on the farm. And, to add to all that excitement, I've been recognized as 'Laurica Farm' in public on more than one occasion! How cool is that?! So apparently, there's too much happening for me to throw in the towel yet. I've got my rock star, farmer status to flaunt around a little longer.

x

Fighting the Man

This blog is meant to follow our personal transition into farming life, but I feel a rant coming on. As usual I'm not going to apologise for venting in this forum. I feel justified because I'm sharing what I have learned about agriculture and what is happening right now is impacting me, my farm, my family and my livelihood as well as making me mad!

Yesterday was a big day for the farming industry. The effects of 'Big Ag' are a major part of the discourse between small farmers and homesteaders right now. First of all, Avian Flu was discovered at two big factory farms, a turkey barn in Abbotsford and a chicken farm in Chilliwack. On the same day, beef was recalled due to a discovery of E-coli.

I've learned a lot about food security and ethical farming since transitioning to this lifestyle. Some of it I've had to learn as part of making an informed choice about our farming practices, some of it I've discovered completely by accident, some of it I wish I didn't know. So, let me take the time to explain why these issues arising now are a big concern to me, and to you.

I'm going to start with the Avian Flu. 11,000 birds have already been culled at the two affected farms. The outbreak is the fourth in the Fraser Valley since 2005.

In 2009, an outbreak of avian flu in the same region led to the quarantine of several farms. In 2004, an H7-type flu transformed into a highly contagious strain. Farm after farm was quarantined until finally about 15 million birds — almost the entire valley poultry population — were destroyed. 

Wait, what? How come so many birds culled? Our friend Leona of My Healthy Green Family wrote this yesterday:

"Everyone with poultry, even the smallest farms like mine, had to allow for the authorities to come on their property and let them gas all the healthy birds as a precautionary measure. Pets, or not. I remember hearing of a little old lady who cried when they killed her pet peacock. Why? Because these massive egg factories where chickens live in cages and are debeaked so they don't peck each other to death, are a perfect breeding place for a flu. Now, I am totally blowing this out of proportion since it is only 2 farms at this point and no one is saying this will have to be done again. But I am worried.... and disgusted."

Not only are birds culled, but you are not allowed to keep hatching eggs, not even from healthy birds. So farmers cannot even replace lost birds. It takes an incredibly long time for the population to recover.

Let's just think about the emotional impact. Imagine you have to tell my 7 year old daughter, Jessica, that all her chickens and ducks have to be killed because someone else's birds got sick. I may be casting aspersions here but I doubt the owners of those big factory barns will be shedding tears like the children of small farmers....unless it's over their profits. And let's think about economics for a moment. It's not the big factory farms with their $2 a dozen eggs, their millions of anti-biotic fuelled birds, their GMO & soy laden feed, and their government subsidies that will be hurting. It's the people like me. The average cost of a young laying hen is $20. I have 60. Even if there were hens available after a cull, my budget would not stretch to that.

I, like many small farmers and homesteaders, treat our animals with the utmost respect. Our birds have 'luxury' homes, pasture to free range on, homemade chicken feed, warmth and protection, and here we are potentially bearing the brunt of the people whose values are at the opposite end of the spectrum to ours. Whose benefit is the factory farm for? Not yours, as consumers, not mine as an ethical farmer, not any ones as global citizens on a planet that is being drained of it's resources. Listen to this short clip of from UK Chef Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall touch on the issues: Objections to Factory Farming 

Moving on to the massive beef recall (yes, another one in Canada).  All meat from a plant is recalled because of practices of mass meat production and distribution. Parts of many cows, not just one cow, are in a single package of ground beef. Cows that aren't even from the same farm, they are from all over the place. The current beef recall due to e-coli is from Walmart. Not local. No one knows where the meat was even raised. This makes controlling disease that comes from factory farms almost impossible without mass culls. If our meat were traceable, disease would have minimal causalities.

I'm continuously thinking about making good food choices, but how can I make a real and tangible difference? There are groups that fight Big Ag & factory farms, and while I support them, I am of the belief that we cannot fight corporate greed and I am saddened that we have to fight our own governments to protect our health and environment. I believe the only way we can effect any positive change is to educate ourselves as consumers and vote with our money. I get that what I've just said may feel like a big challenge. Busy lifestyles often dictate the need for convenience, thus feeding the problem. So, I'm reflecting on the changes I've made as I've transitioned from Suburban Consumer to Sustainable Food Advocate. I've come up with a list of things to do and changes that can be easily made make. I don't expect everyone to live like me, but I think it's reasonable to expect everyone to get informed. Have a look through. Maybe you can just choose one thing to do to make a difference? 

• Get to know your local Farmer. Shake their hand and meet them face to face. If they're wearing any sort of breathing apparatus or HAZMAT clothing, walk away. Generally, small farmers like to be transparent. I love it when consumers take an interest in their food and come and ask me questions and hold me accountable for my claims. On the opposite end of the scale, transparency & accountability are often dirty words in Big Ag. If a farmer won't let you see their produce, you probably don't want to eat it.

"Smaller diversified farms employ more people and use less land and water and produce more foods," says Norberg-Hodge. She explains that localization also shortens the distance between consumers and producers, which helps the environment and also ensures that you do not eat produce that is pretty much dead traveling such insane distances".

• Invest in a CSA box. CSA stands for Community Supported Agriculture. It's good for local farmers, small businesses, the environment and for you. You pay in advance for a box of seasonal produce, each farm is different so look into the terms and choose whichever suits you. You will get better value & fresher produce. Not only that but you have healthy food in your fridge that you have paid for and you have to use. You will learn to cook more recipes from scratch and experience a variety of healthy food. Often, your farmer will be happy to share ideas, recipes and suggestions on using or preserving your vegetables.
• 

• Buy your meat from a local farm. Invest in quarter, half or a whole animal (chicken, beef, pork, lamb, etc). Don't want an entire side of beef to yourself? Share with a neighbour. As well as superior taste, choosing pasture raised meat is the ethical choice.  Trust me, I've seen pigs and chickens from factory farms and it's changed my perception. If I couldn't raise my own animals or buy from a local farmer, I would go vegetarian. Not only that, but many small farmers go to extreme lengths to rescue food that would otherwise be destined for landfill. We spend many hours reclaiming food and sharing it with other family farms. And before you quibble over the price, let me assure you that you will not find quality meat in the grocery store at a comparative price. But by choosing local farms, you'll be choosing:
  

• Create cooperatives. Work with your friends and neighbours to create buying clubs and cooperatives. If you have friends that bake, get together and buy organic flour from a local mill in bulk. You'll all enjoy financial savings. My friend Janessa makes her own bread from a bulk buy scheme. She calculated that a loaf of her bread costs under $5 a loaf: it's 1 1/2 times the size of a store loaf, it's totally organic and loaded with healthy extras (steelcut oats, grains, flax, etc). Or you could create a growing club with some neighbours. Choose one item to grow; Sally could grow lettuce, ask Bob to grown tomatoes, Jill to can get some herbs going and Paul can start on some edible flowers. Share your variety of produce for fresh salad all summer. As people see you doing it, they will want to be part of it. Soon you'll have beans, zucchinis, cucumbers and much more. Take back control of your food and your spending. Here's an article on creating a buying group and some more good advice here on things to start making yourself. Doing this will save you money and strengthen you're community. You'll probably be eating healthier too. If you needed any more convincing, there's strong evidence that gardening makes you happier and combats depression.
• 

• Boycott! Ok, I don't want to sound over dramatic. You don't have to stop buying everything you are used to. Choose one big company that you don't like based on any reason that aligns with your personal values. They may operate unethically, have links to Monsanto, use GMO's.... I started with Nestle many years ago because I was fed up with my hard earned cash funding unethical companies, check out this Wiki page on the original Nestle Boycott. I then moved on to stop buying anything by Kraft, which was the best thing I ever did for our diet. When you shun big companies, you often find better products. For example, no Kraft meant no Philadelphia and now we buy a local cream cheese that is organic and has probiotics. Don't worry about choosing a company, there are many to choose from in this link to get you started!

"Industrial agriculture and our globalized food system is a major contributor to greenhouse gas emissions, up to 50 percent if proper account is taken of emissions from land use change and deforestation, most of which are due to agriculture, and for food-related transport, processing, storage and consumption," writes 

 ISIS (Institute of Science in Society).

Of course, this is only the tip of the iceberg, there are problems on a global scale. Just today I've read an article about the UN calling for an end to industrialized farming. I've attached some links at the bottom for further reading. It's time to take back control! There has to be a food revolution. So step away from your Round-Up ready corn and step onto your local farm....but not until we've got rid of Big Ag's Avian Flu!

http://www.theguardian.com/global-development-professionals-network/2014/dec/02/12-paths-to-strengthening-food-security-and-nutrition-in-an-unstable-world

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vdp6IAedWKo

http://www.wunderground.com/blog/organicfarmingblog/the-advantages-of-polyculture-vs-monoculture

http://www.permaculture.co.uk/videos/can-permaculture-replace-industrial-agricultural-farming-methods

http://www.aabri.com/manuscripts/08086.pdf

http://www.sustainabletable.org/869/impacts-of-industrial-agriculture

The Death Debate

This may be a little too morbid for some of you but I am experiencing emotions about death that I feel I should record and remember. After all, in choosing to raise animals in pursuit of a sustainable lifestyle, death is a big and regular part of our existence now.

Last night, we took John, George, Paul and Ringo, our first four heritage pigs, to the slaughter house. I haven't slept all night thinking about them. It's not that they are going off for meat, strangely I've made peace with that, they were always here for that reason. I hate the experience of the slaughter house. I'm going to describe it in some detail, not because I want to turn you all vegetarian but because, in order to be connected with your food, you should be aware of what happens.

Our friend and local farmer, Brian arrived at 4pm yesterday with his truck and trailer. As did our farming neighbours from Glorious Organics, to help us load.

We had eight pigs in our field, the four Beatles for whom it was D-day and four members of Fleetwood Mac who have a little longer for this world. The first challenge was separating them. I'd kept the pigs hungry all day, depriving them of their usual breakfast of granola and brew mash in anticipation that we might have to entice them with food. The separation went quite well, we ended up with Fleetwood Mac and Ringo in a separate section of the field. At this point, Stevie Nicks bit poor Ringo on the snout and made him bleed. Some goodbye!

George and Paul were the first two pigs to follow the granola trail up to the trailer and with a little coaxing, they were loaded without too much trouble.  They have always been the most placid and trusting of the Beatles. Then we set John in our sights. John is the most anti-social of the bunch and as a result, led us a merry dance. No amount of granola was working so I had to crack out the big guns...out came the (beef) wieners. Not even wieners convinced him to cooperate and he really was being obnoxious & challenging. Ian found a roll of green netting and six of the guys were able to use it to herd him into the trailer.

Next was Ringo. He's always been a bit of a jerk but after getting his nose bitten he was happy to remove himself from the little pigs and with our new herding net, we got him on without too much hassle.

We've experience the slaughter house before and what I'm about to write is not a reflection on Johnstons' who operate the facility. It is what it is. A concrete barn with metal pens. Depressing but spotlessly clean and well set up for it's purpose. We unloaded each pigs and had to push and shove each pig into his own pen. Yes, they challenged us and barged us about and yes, I hated it. They were far from their lush green field and luxury pig mansion where they sleep cuddled up in one big pig pile. However, there was part of the barn next to us that had hundreds of pigs crammed in from a factory farm. These pigs seemed unconcerned with their predicament, probably because they had lived their entire lives in a similar facility and under the same cramped conditions.

Then we left them. Strangely, this was easier to do than to write about. This is the part though that has kept me awake all night. The point you walk away is the moment you relinquish control. I have known those pigs so well for the last six month. They had a schedule that meant at any time of the day, I knew where they were in the field and what they were doing. Let's say that you had visited the pigs at 2pm during the summer. I knew they would have been under the salmonberry bush, where they had created a labyrinth of 'rooms' and corridors and they would be napping. But now, the last 18 hours of their lives is unknown to me and I don't even want to think about that time before slaughter.

I'm annoyed by the bureaucracy that makes this process essential. The laws are very restrictive around animal slaughter. I get that there has to be measures in place to protect the consumer. However, there are people around the world eating animals they have slaughtered themselves. Surely, it is better for the animals (and apparently me) if the animals experience a quick and respectful death without fear, complete before they even know what is happening.

I was told about a lady who does all her own slaughtering and butchering on site and will come and teach you. I know my limitations and I'm not there yet. I'm not hardened to this lifestyle yet and I don't want to kill my own animals. But would I have someone come here and do it? Yes. Would I watch? Yes. I am willing to accept complete accountability for raising meat animals. Recently, we took some of our roosters to a facility that is licensed to kill poultry, but just for the owners consumption. They charge $2-$3 a bird and for that price, it really isn't worth trying it yourself. It's fairly horrific to be there, it is an open facility and you see everything. But, if my birds felt any fear, it was for no more than four seconds. I know because I watched and I was in control right to the end. I would much rather grapple with a horror that I have watched than this feeling of unknowing.

In the interest of my own sanity, I must tease some positives out of this. Firstly, our community gathered around us again. The guys from Glorious Organics came down to help us load. Maybe because when I told them we were loading the pigs into the trailer, I suggested I could end up face down in the mud. Perhaps the lure of this potential comic moment was too much to resist? Our Pig Farmer friend Brian came to help us transport the pigs and guide us. But mostly, however distressing I'm finding this right now, the Beatles were better off than their factory farmed neighbours. To live for months in a dirty, crammed, concrete barn, where they just get hosed off as a sanitary measure is not, in my opinion, a life worth dying for. Our pigs enjoyed freedom, pasture, organic food, sunshine, mud holes and tummy rubs. That is how we should honour meat animals and it is some consolation to know that every person who buys pork from local farmers, is not supporting the factory farming industry. They are making a decision that is right for animal welfare, local economy, the environment and sustainability. Through my tears, I still believe it is the ethical choice.

This will get easier, won't it?

Births, deaths and challenges

This post is long overdue and I want to start by concluding the well saga. There will never be enough time, words or blogging opportunities to fully encapsulate the emotional roller coaster of this episode. So I'll be brief in telling you that the well has been drilled, there is a new pump in and it is all working beautifully.  I don't really know how to talk about the funding of the project, I'm still in awe and not sure I have fully processed.  The well has been made possible by family, friends and the kindness of strangers.  We have received donations from $3 to several thousands of dollars; every donation equally meaningful regardless of the dollar amount.  Some donations came from family and friends both in Canada and back in the UK.  Some from local businesses.  Some from the community. Some from those that had benefited from the farm. And all from kind hearted people who see the value of what is happening here, who share our values and who have demonstrated humanity.  The experience has been emotional and humbling.  I recently read a quote that said "You have never really lived until you have done something for someone who can never repay you".  We can never repay you, the people who gave money, time, resources, support and kind words.  But we can continue to 'pay it forward' and use the farm to benefit others. The birth of the new well has meant the birth of a new attitude here at the farm.  We always wanted to be a farm that did some community work but now we see the land as a community asset that farms. We are in talks with a number of organizations to ensure that we can continue with work that will support and educate.

In other news from the farm, we have experienced our first losses of livestock. One planned and some not.  We took our ram to the slaughter house two weeks ago.  This felt like a milestone in our farming journey. We've completed a full cycle with some of our animals now.  From newborn babies through to taking a meat animal for butchering. I was surprisingly calm about taking the ram. Of course, I felt some sadness, despite my love-hate relationship with that particular sheep.  Leaving him at the slaughter house with all the other anonymous animals made me reflect on this entire process.  I had to focus on our values being about how an animal lives that is important. Ultimately, they all die the same way. All the sheep, pigs, cows that were being delivered to that place on that night had different experiences of life but they were all herded into their waiting pens in the same manner. I think you have to be fairly 'cold' about it. We fulfilled our objectives by letting the ram live as close to how nature intended as possible. He had the added benefits of fresh vegetables on a daily basis and protection from non-human predators. It might surprise you to learn that the only regret I had was that we had to take him to that slaughter house. I would have preferred to have done the deed here at the farm and spared him any stress and fear he may have experienced that last night.  But it's done now and, from an animal welfare view, we feel ok about it.

Ram-a-lamb

We've had some unexpected deaths. We had to kill our first chicken yesterday. That was hard. I won't share the grizzly details with you but it saddened all of us. Little Jessica was upset but surprisingly mature about it. She demonstrated an understanding of showing a sick animal mercy. It made me feel like we had done our job as farming parents.

The farm acquired seven new chickens on Friday night. We lost one of those this morning and I feel responsible. The ducks have a temporary paddling pool while the pond is dry. The chicken hopped onto the side for a drink and fell in. Unable to get out, she drown. If I had placed some rocks or something on the bottom of the pool, she may have been able to get out. The two deaths so close together certainly hurt us.

This morning we found Bantam chicks hatching. Surprise! The bantams are just pets for Jessica. There are two hens and a tiny rooster. They've been hiding their eggs under the coop and a broody Ameracauna chicken took charge of them. We found one chick on the floor this morning and one just hatching. Sadly, Momma hen did not show any interest in her new acquisitions. We moved them into the chick nursery with a surrogate Australorp hen and are working hard to keep them alive. They are hanging on to life by a very fragile thread at the moment.  Although it's not a good time of the year for chicks to hatch, if we can keep them going it will be a lovely reward to balance out some of the the harder losses.

The first Bantam chick, just a few minutes old and hanging on to life in our living room!

With the birth of the new well and new chicks, we should be feeling a bit of a high. But just one year of farming has taught me that the punches keep coming and the fight goes on. As I type this, I have flu like symptoms, a rash across my lower back and pain down one side. Please excuse the self-diagnosis but I've experienced these symptoms before...when I had shingles.

Next week, Ian is going away with work for three months. He'll be home at weekends but as autumn approaches, I find myself faced with the prospect of a long farming winter alone. We will, of course, continue to get up and fight back. The farm is worth it. The lifestyle, although sometimes exhausting, is worth it. I've posted some photos below to remind myself of that. So, I'm off to put on my best farm grimace, a plaid shirt and my boots.  No time for melancholy here!

Kids enjoying hands-on experiences of farm animals

Relaxing by the fire after a hard day

Pig Selfies!

Free range animals!

Pig snuggles

Driving a tractor is always awesome!

Oh yeah!

Good looking neighbours

Sunrise

Playing rounders with friends and family

Barn dinners