We didn't come this far just to come this far

The last year, life has thrown us in a lake and held our heads under water, letting us up occasionally for a quick gasp of air before shoving us down again. With the last breath we decided to metaphorically swim for another shore. It's time to set some goals and some boundaries. Enough with the ifs, buts, maybes, what ifs and most of all, the complaining.

With regard to last years fire, we are finally making in-roads. We fought tooth and nail almost daily to get our hempcrete house design approved and last week, we received our permits and broke ground. Not only is it exciting in itself to start building a house but we're amazed at the interest in the build and hempcrete as a material. Somehow we find people joining us and supporting us as we push forward with the house. However, it's not all sunshine and rainbows. We thought we had made some victories with our insurance company, but they are causing some issues again. There's a point where you have to throw caution to the wind and just start building. We have missed an entire farming season this year, we CANNOT afford to miss next year because we are still waiting to build. So it's on, we are starting a build that we now don't know will be fully covered by the insurance money. We're nothing if not dramatic! And it's just us. You know when you hear people say "oh, I'm building a house" when what they mean is "I'm sitting in my kitchen giving instructions to a contractor"? Yeah, well, that's not our reality. It's me and Ian sweating at the bottom of the foundations we dug in the blazing sun.  And of course, Ian's type-A syndrome has kicked in with him declaring that "there is not another person on the planet who is accurate enough to frame his house". Sweeping generalizations and insults to the global carpentry industry aside, with or without a decent insurance payout, there won't be enough money to pay other people to build it.

The farm without farming has been has been like a party without wine this summer! We've kept the animals going and another farmer has used our land for a few crops. But most of the growing soils that we worked so hard to build and nourish, lie empty or covered in weeds. We had a couple of events just to keep breathing life back into the place but Laurica Farm has been a quiet shell of it's former self. No crowds, no new growth and no farmer burn out, tantrums or break downs! It's almost become cliché to say it's been a time of reflection. Reflection suggests something quite and peaceful but we have a gun to our heads as we choose our pathway. And so it goes on...new plans, new relationships and renewed vigour. 2018 will be our 'do or die' year.

Next February will see us merge with our friends at True Grit Farm. Ashlee founded True Grit this year and mainly grows microgreens for restaurant supply as well as  CSA shares for the local community. Check out this story though, it's almost as daft as ours. Ashlee met Devin at the end of 2016. Devin has been so blown away by farming and inspired by the farming community that he is going to give up his well-paying job to become a farmer. Ha! Where have you heard that before?! Every time I look at him, it is with either pity or amusement, I can't quite figure out which emotion is stronger. But in all seriousness, you can teach anyone to farm, but you can't teach values. Devin is hard working and has innate farming values, he just doesn't know it yet.

So, Ian will be at the farm full-time for the first time since we moved here. He will farm mainly with Ashlee, who will teach us about microgreens and share her areas of expertize. Devin is chatty and confident so he will look after the customers. I will head up the events, which will see you strengthen an existing partnership with The Watershed Arts Café, and the rental of the tree house. And there it is! Not a complex master plan, but a plan nonetheless. A plan to keep going, a plan to address the burn out, a plan to pool our resources and aid the mutual growth of two awesome farms. A plan to make a living and reclaim a lifestyle during 2018 and if not, call it a day. It seems the last year has certainly made us fragile, but not fragile like a flower. Fragile like a bomb.

No One Needs to Know

The word 'Adventure' has been overused, in my opinion. Adventure begins when everything goes wrong. Our fight for survival on this farm continues; physically, emotionally and financially, but out of this fight, great things emerge. I had become so entrenched with the battle that I overlooked to triumphs.

A couple of weeks ago I saw my friend, Lisa. Lisa and I worked together in Old Navy and that's where I saw her. Immediately after the usual greetings people share, she said "I follow the farm on Facebook, you have such a great life". She went on to talk cheerfully about the animals at the farm and all the events that have been happening. Lisa was smiling while she said this, while it was all I could do to hold back the tears.  I couldn't believe or process what Lisa was saying while we were drowning.  Just a few days earlier, Ian and I had sat under the trees in the sheep field, both of us sobbing, seriously (at that moment) saying we were selling up. We had just buried our fourth sheep of the summer and we had already lost too many animals during the summer. The well had dried up again, now tallying a bill of $60,000 in less than 12 months, and we are still without a full resolution to the myriad of problems the well has presented. Staffing has been a nightmare for the last part of the summer. My car was written off. My oven died. We've had damage from a storm and a power outage for a week. We've been without water for one reason or another for a big chunk of the summer growing season, to name just a few of the challenges. I've been covered in animal blood, snot and feces way too much and I had to learn how to insert a tube into a sheep stomach from a YouTube tutorial while 'in the field'. And yet, I was being presented with the fact that, to the outside world, it looked great, enviable even. There have been many, many times this summer when my old life as a normal person felt very appealing.

Driving home after seeing Lisa, a song came on the radio. The artist sings "No one needs to know, no one needs to know right now. Take a deep breath in and don't let them break you down". Something resonated with me. I knew I could not make decisions about the farm in the middle of the farming season, while everything appeared so crappy. I had to suck it up, ride it out to the end of the season and then take the time to reflect.

So here we are, at the end of the season, and it's time to reflect and decide. It's easy to remember what went wrong, but what went well? I'll tell you what went amazingly. Last year was our first growing season and we started the delivery route to take fresh produce from the farm direct to our customers. This year we  built on that and added a CSA scheme, farmers markets, restaurant supply, and farm gate sales. This time last year, we had four pigs on the farm. Right now there are 22 pigs and 22 more coming in the next month (although 7 will be 'leaving'). We have our own breeding program for heritage hogs that supports breed conservation. Those pigs are used to support the farms activities and our environmental stance. The pigs get no commercially made grain, ever. We divert around 5 tonnes of organic food waste away from landfill every single week! And then we either reuse, re-purpose or recycle the packaging that goes with it.  The pigs turn the food waste into fertilizer and bacon! They till our fields while they are at it which reduces the amount of heavy machinery use on the farm, builds the soils and means we don't have to bring in compost. We watched Cowspiracy recently which does not look favorably on any type of animal agriculture, even 'sustainable' models. We agreed with most of the content of the documentary but felt that it wasn't representative of what happens here at Laurica Farm. We could answer the concerns about water and land usage. And that is something to be proud of. We have found a different way, our own way.

The pigs rolling in organic melons as part of our food waste program

There are now 103 laying hens, we've done our first batch of meat chickens and we have a permanent flock of sheep on route to the farm, primarily pregnant ewes. All of this is managed on just 5 acres through a process of pasture management and permaculture design.

We have also launched events at the farm. Two awesome events have led to numerous inquiries about weddings and other events for next year.

Farm Jam

There are more buildings on the farm this year. The poly tunnel has doubled in size, it has a concrete floor with a sustainable heating system underway. There is another salad tunnel for summer growing. Last year, we grew in two fields, this year we filled three fields. There's a new chicken coop, another pig pen, new fencing, 35 more fruit trees, trellis along fences for growing, a new outdoor washroom and another bathroom almost complete that is totally off-grid.  And on top of all that happening on the farm, we have been nominated for a 2015 Business Excellence Award in the Environmental Leadership category.

Two years! That's what it's taken to turn an empty piece of land into a fully functioning, sustainable farm. It's nearly broken us emotionally, physically and financially, and it still might. But it hasn't broken us yet. I'm not sure if I should say despite the challenges we've made it work or in spite of the challenges, but you can bet you're bottom dollar I'm not giving up now. If I leave this farm, I'll be doing it bankrupt or dead, because sensible not, the decision has been made. We're all in! Let the adventure continue.

Heirloom tomatoes

Piglets born here at the farm

Our ducks, Simon and Garfunkel, catching insects in the fruit cage

Some of our market produce

Night time events at the farm

Lamper, the kale thief

Tiki happiness

Goodness, I’m tired.  And I’ve managed to aggravate a shoulder injury.  But don’t turn away now; this is not a whiny ‘I’m working so hard’ post because I FEEL GOOD.  Something has happened for all of us this week to dispel fears and enthuse us.  I’ll try and encapsulate some of those things but for those of you expecting a high-integrity, agriculture related write-up, call back in a couple of weeks…maybe.

Firstly, let’s talk about aesthetics of the farm.  Remember the adult swing set I talked about that we’ve poured blood, sweat and tears into?  Well, that is almost finished and it’s evolved. Not only does it look amazing but it’s a real triumph to our recycle, reduce, reuse lifestyle.  It can no longer be referred to as an adult swing set though.  When Ian made the benches that were intended to swing, he made them so sturdy that they were too heavy to swing from the frame.  His solution….to roof the frame.  But then another issue;  the benches would hang over behind the frame if they were swinging and Ian’s OCD senses started tingling.  The benches will now be fixed to sit flush with the frame.  We had prepared 6 benches for the octagonal frame leaving 2 sides to hang hammock chairs from, but with the roof the whole thing started to look more like a Tiki hut, and so it obviously needs a bar.  That very week, the fridge at Ian’s office died a death.  Ian reclaimed it of course.  It’s currently lying on its back, raised off the floor being clad in wood.  We will fill it with ice and people can put their drinks inside.

Some of you might have an idea of a Homesteader in your mind and think that a Tiki bar is not an essential part of the lifestyle.  So let me explain why I am pleased with it.  I am happy because it’s a nod towards our intention to enjoy this land.  If you’re working hard then there has to be some rewards.  This Tiki hut is an enabler for relaxation, reward and social gatherings.  I feel it’s an achievement because it looks awesome.  When you drive along the road, it’s the Tiki hut that grabs your attention.  But it’s not intrusive, we chose to paint it and kind of bark colour as it sits next to the trees and the roof is clad in cedar coloured shingles.  It complements the landscape.  But here’s the real homesteading achievement.  The structure is approx. 18ft wide and 15ft tall.  I estimate the total cost of building it to be around $400.  Not bad for something that size!  Had we purchased new materials we think it would have cost around $5000.  Not only that but we have had the experience of bartering and utilizing volunteers.  I will post some photos next week when it’s completely finished.

The next thing that has made me feel good is a conversation with my friend Kirstin.  She asked me how I was dealing with the bugs and animals as I talked about snakes, spiders, frogs, coyotes and alike.  How have I come to terms with these things?  Well, it’s been like an extreme desensitization program.  What can you do when you’ve invested everything into a home?  I can’t walk away and move in to a condo downtown because there’s too much wildlife.  I still let out an involuntary squeal when I see a snake but you just have to plough on (no pun intended).  It’s become more of an annoyance than a fear and that happened real quickly because it had to.

The final thing on my quest for happiness this week came courtesy of the tractor.  Up until now I have found it difficult to tell people "I’m a farmer".  I feel like such a fraud and opt for less intimidating alternatives, like “oh, I’m just a Homemaker”.  This week I completed an unquestionably farm related activity.  I tilled the back field for the fruit bushes and created a huge compost heap.  Even as I was doing it I felt embarrassed every time our neighbours (real bona fide farmers) were in the field.  I imagined them sitting around laughing about us as they wondered what the heck we were doing.  Anyway, we tilled the patch of land once, and then I moved the entire top layer of grass and soil to a neat compost heap that will eventually go back on the same patch of land.  Then I tilled 3 more times, and you know what, it looks great.  I’d even go as far as to say it looks professional!  And so now I’m over it.  I have something to show that I can farm.  I have a patch of tilled land and some chickens, in a coop.  We also have plans now for the veggies, the orchard,  the poly tunnels and the duck pond. Not much, but a start.  I even have a Tiki bar to show that I can enjoy farming too.  Bet our farming neighbours don’t have a Tiki bar.

So to conclude this post, confidence is growing, friendships with new neighbours are developing, epic social gatherings are taking place, volunteers have been fed, food has been preserved, we're having fun, and non-invasive, environmentally sensitive, organic architecture is happening.  Sounds to me like we are rocking this gig.