The Money, moods &amp; meltdowns.

January 2014: the month that will hereon be known as Black January. The shine has definitely started to tarnish. There has been significantly less laughter and certainly no fun on the farm. I’m not sure if it’s because we’re midway through our first winter, or if the drain on our resources is causing us stress, or if we’re just purely exhausted…probably a combination of all of the above.

There are things that have darkened our mood of late. Firstly, we’re feeling the pressure of looming deadlines. All the construction needs finishing off ready for planting, arrival of animals, etc. You know what it’s like, getting around to the boring stuff when there’s far more exciting prospects beckoning. And although our weather has been extremely mild, it’s still hard to push on in the middle of January.

The chickens are also getting me down. There are four broody hens. Bless them, they want to have babies. Couple of issues with that. It’s a bit early for chicks, best to wait for the spring and we don’t have a rooster. Nevertheless, they occupy the nest boxes and protect their eggs vehemently. This is upsetting the entire flock and laying is down. I’ve learned that I have to ‘break’ their broodiness. Even the sound of it is harsh. There are a few methods but basically we’ve put ours in chicken jail. Each morning I have to go and drag them out their boxes and put them in a cage outside. They protest until about lunchtime, then they spend the rest of the day sitting, sulking and refusing to make eye contact with me. Not only is it really hard to wrestle chickens into a cage but it’s depressing to see their little defeated souls in a cage. The rest of the flock gather around or sit on top of the cage in a show of solidarity and glare at me (unless I'm bearing food).

The money situation remains a challenge having hemorrhaged money since the day we moved in. Regular readers of my blog will know I’ve chirped on about budgets and planning resources, etc. Well those things never really happen until it becomes absolutely necessary, and January has seen it become necessary. The upside of this situation has made me realize how wasteful we are normally and I’ve become quite determined not to revert back to our former frivolous ways. Every week I’ve been meal planning, making my own bread, hanging washing instead of using the tumble dryer, conserving fuel, etc. Being frugal means becoming uber efficient! I’m suprised that I’ve achieved this, probably because I've had too but even so, once I overcame my sulkiness about having to organize, I’ve really quite enjoyed it. And we are managing to turn the money situation around a little.

A breaking point was reached recently. I lost it at Ian. We generally work well together but, as mentioned, we’re clearly under pressure. Our problems usually arise from a clash of personality types. Ian is ‘Type A’ and the only thing I overachieve at is under-achieving. This usually results in me being wishy-washy about planning a task and Ian charging at it bull-headed without listening. This is exactly what happened when we were setting up the chicken jail. The outcome was Ian walking away and me throwing (and smashing) the plastic chicken feed box and screaming “YOU MAKE ME CRAZY” while slapping my hand on my forehead. Yes, I’m not proud but this is what my very rare meltdowns look like. I did manage to find some humour in the situation later in the day when my neighbour said “Oh thank God, I thought you were this perfect homesteady couple and it was beginning to annoy me”.

January is coming to an end though. Last weekend was beautifully sunny and warm. I had ten hours sleep and took a minute to walk the property and remembered to look around. Sometimes it can be easy to forget to stop and take it all in when you’re entrenched with work, freezing cold and covered in mud. I can see the progress we’ve made. We’re almost ready to become farmers. Spring in nearing which will bring the idea of farming to reality. And despite the occasional broken feed box, our family is strong together. We’re good and making things happen, and quickly. I think we’re good at pulling together and facing challenges with resilience. There’s no choice now really, we’ve just got to keep on keeping on. Here’s hoping for a brighter February, successful planting and a return to happier times.